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as a 17 year old boy, I was hospitalized for anorexia. i struggled a lot with how i looked especially since i do competitive swimming and struggle a lot with ocd. i struggled for about a year and a half before seeking help and in the end it was one of the best decisions i made. i can’t describe how tired, cold, and dead i felt. i lost all social abilities really and lost interest in a ton of things that i once loved. it physically hurt to do simple things such as smiling and laughing because i wasn’t getting the energy to do those simple tasks. I was always trying to seek validation through my eating disorder and never felt satisfied, and always thought i could go ‘further’ by malnourishing myself even more. One thing that fueled my eating disorder from the start was when people made any comments on how i looked. My mom would constantly comment how skinny i was and that i needed to gain weight. for a moment i would feel guilty and think to myself ‘alright’, but a little later i would feel almost satisfied and think that is what makes me attractive. i would also get comments that some of my features on my face look really good and such, and it really fueled my sickness. I want anyone who is struggling with an eating disorder to know that it’s a very challenging process and never feel you are invalid. you are not alone in this fight ❤️

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